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Blythe
Tina · 20 21 · West Coast · Feeling lazy · O+ · Student & Worker · Absolutely Crazy · Favorite Dream or Worst Nightmare
I woke up late. It is interesting and irrelevant but I had a nice dream. I had a dream I was Link and what was interesting was ever since I started this color art class, I noticed that I have only had one dream that was in color that I could remember in my life. The other ones were in black and white. So I have been dreaming in color lately, and it was wonderful.
So I slept through my alarm for a half hour, dreaming I was link with my green outfit chasing a chicken around this bridge across a beautiful sunset.
… Iam insane.
Clearly I ended up to class late. But it was not because of my dream. I was trying to do something with my hair and kept failing. So I left late, got some coffee, and did not care. I did not go to my second class because I’m a slob. We are learning how to divide in binary, and the IEEE (Institute of Electrical Engineering) decided on a standard for 32bit machines that you will subtract the number 127 from the resulting number in binary in order to get it into two’s compliment. I don’t know why. A whole page on it can be found here but it was too uninteresting for me to read. So I just did not want to go to hear about it. I came home and started writing. I got an idea for a fun story I will have to post it up if I get a few chapters done. It is about androids who were made to assassinate. Nine of them :3 So they are called Nine Little Litter Bugs because of how much they kill :3 Sounds lovely eh? That’s not the entire story clearly. That is really far from any part of the story, but it was the main jist of it.
I went to work. They asked me to stay later. I said no because I’m a bitch. I went to mommy’s and got some smoothie mix so I will make that here in a bit I still have not posted up anything new because I have not booted up my laptop once today. I will probably do that soon since I am procrastinating on homework!
Sorry for not posting lately! Busy with school =) but I love my classes so far.
I email people now and then. Tell me if you want to be added to the list x3 I’ll have to go check out my friends’ sites here soon! Sorry!
Now for some updates on life!
For those who don’t know, I am moving. I can’t afford the rent here anymore, even though it is only $300. Driving to Keizer all the time for work is killing me on gas! I don’t want to move. I love my little apartment. I love the littleness. I am really not American because I really want a one bedroom itty bitty yellow house and three cats and a bunny and a pig and a goat. Anyway! My uncle is going to let me stay in his empty house until 2010 when Melissa might go to school here. I hope the house will be just as cute xP
I am also trying to get a job in town. I went and talked to a guy named Michael who has some database work done in Oracle. I don’t know Oracle though, I have only dealt with MySQL. So he wants to see my stuff and maybe set up times to train this next week. I doubt I’ll get it, seeing as how I have not taken the database class and I have no experience other than websites. But it’s worth a try because I have gotten two jobs by mistake. So today I just finished installing Apache 4/PHP 5/MySQL 4 on my laptop so I can experiment with database stuff. It all took a lot longer than it should have. I was editing the wrong php.ini file and the wrong lines and everything! It was one of those stupid things like using the -> pointers in c++ instead of . in Java. Also, when reading information from MySQL, it is practical to put it into a nice little array. I was editing wrong files and attacking arrays all wrong.
For any kinds of computer nerds (I was happy! My teacher called me a nerd for once xD) Here is how I was tackling arrays:
To view arrays in PHP, you have to use print_r($array) instead of print. And it was comming out like
Array(name[0] => Tina, age[0] => 21, gender [0] => female)
It is really useless like that when trying to display a page very nicely so that everyone can read it like normal, it would be nice to use when editing databases and such though. So I kept trying to use str_replace to take out the numbers, field names, and arrows, but ran into a few problems. Then I realised that if I just made a while loop with a counter until it goes null and display the actual fields of that counter.
(for those who don’t know, in php you don’t have to define the variable type :3)
$i = 0;
while($array[i] !== null)
{
print($array[i]);
$i++;
}
It comes out like
Tina 21 Female
And I can put it into a nice table as well :3
I also just recently finished a search for function. Now all I am going to do is add a create function and I don’t know what else he wants me to show him. Just some work I guess I don’t know if it will be relevant, but whatever :3
I went to counseling today. I don’t want to repeat anything in here that I told him. They will evaluate the answers I said to his questions and sign me up for a counselor that is fit for me. I am glad I am going through this during this term. Apparently individual appointments are $30 each, so the fact that our insurance is about $100 and we get five free visits is awesome. I don’t know how good they are but at least it is a start. And they have a therapist to assign medications or get immediate help from (such as if I am about to commit suicide), I can take full blown tests to find out if I am bi polar or not, other kinds of mental tests, anything. That is not included in the fee but at least it’s available. :3
That is about all. I’ll put up my new MySQL scripts tomorrow. Buhbye :3
About an hour after my post, things started cheering up. I am so thrilled
I took a shower and boy I took a good relaxing one. And cleaned myself up and made myself all purdy. Almost a year ago Rob bought me these white knee-high socks with laces in the back that tie in a bow, but I don’t really like white, but I’ve been trying to think what I can wear them with because I begged him to buy them for me. Well, I put on my black fishnet and the white socks and pushed them towards the bottom of my ankle instead of wearing them up to my knees. They curved over my shoes a little and the bows in the back stuck out perfectly. I thought it looked cute, very lolita though, and I went outside and was worried that everyone would laugh at me. But I had two people comment on them so I felt great
Amber called me to go to the library with her, I managed to run into her at the IT building and we went and got some coffee. It turned out to be beautiful outside despite the morning! Also we were able to apply our financial aid a whole day early because of some error in the system xP and I got $20 than I thought I would. I then told her about my blender and she came back and checked it out. She said she honestly would’ve gotten the one for $20 because it was better quality and name brand and such. So I got in the car and drove to WalMart again and traded it in, and also grabbed a few more things at the dollar store. I grabbed these totally cute brown socks with flowers on them n__n and some Texas Toast and Italian Ice I also bought a kitty magnet it was too cute and I am starting a collection anyway.
We came back and went to Waremart and she had given me a few bucks for gas so I bought some beef and stroganoff and made that with my Texas Toast and it is delightful I am now sitting on my PC, clearly, feeling much happier, much better, and full and I am ready to watch more anime and play more games I had the most excellent day that I have had this week. Third day’s a charm right?
[ edit: ] Oh Yes!! I also forgot to mention, this is the original reason I wanted to post!! I got .mkv files to play in Winamp. I lurvs it The link is here. I happen to have an icon at the bottom of my taskbar called Haali Media Splitter that gives me the option to put subtitles on, where from, and etc. I think I just got lucky though Also I used this code so that I can Enqueue the files in Winamp as well.
“C:\Program Files\Winamp\winamp.exe” /ADD “%1″
Yup yup. [ /edit ]
The weather has been absolute shit lately. It’s put me into a pessimistic mood entirely. It was up in the 80’s and 90’s then suddenly it went down to 50 and 60 and started rainingagain!! Normally I don’t mind the rain, and even now that I quit my other job, I should enjoy it. But I have not been able to go on my walks. I have basically come to a big halt in every aspect of my life and all I want to do is sleep. I’m trying to keep busy and not think about things, but it’s hard with only one job.
I made some chicken and pudding with pieces of candy and fruit inside and experimented with coffee and I cleaned my apartment entirely. I even decorated my room a little and put up some Christmas lights I got like six months ago. I have been watching a lot of anime too recently. Bleach, Shugo Chara, and I have Magic Knights Rayearth to watch still
School is starting on Monday. I am getting a little more nervous, my anti depressants are not working too well anymore. Or maybe they are I don’t know. I don’t even know why the doctor put me on them. I still have not gotten angry or outraged, but I am eating a lot and I keep panicking over nothing. I am just so stressed with school and what if I run into Anthony and my bills and my job and getting everything ready for vacation and getting forms signed to get married and trying to not get mad at anyone or assault anybody else!! I feel like everyone is expecting great things from me and all I want to do is crawl into a hole (with my muffin of course ♥). Even Amber the other day said she thought I was awesome because of all of the things I am able to do at once and not go insane. So I started freaking out about going to Holland the other day and I had to dart over to Amber and Tara’s to just talk to someone and distract myself and keep from thinking about it.
Along with the cruddy weather, all my worrying, and me being pessimistic, things have not been going so smoothly since I quit my other job. I called them up after I got home on Saturday and told Chris I would not be coming in on Sunday. I knew karma was going to bite me in the butt, so perhaps it’s just my imagination running away with me! But right after I hung up on him, I went to go watch House and I stuck it in my dvd player, and it kept saying no-disk no-disk no-disk. So I attempted to clean it out, failed, and it still says that, and I tried three different disks, so it’s totally busted, and it’s not even a year old. I tried to take it back but as I figured they wouldn’t let me trade it in. I have not bought a new one I want to see if Dan can fix it first, but I couldn’t get a hold of him.
I did buy a blender and I knew it was going to be a failure from the start, so I kept my receipt. I filled it up with milk and fruit and coffee and ice and read the directions and got it all going, and the bottom part just came off. Everything splattered all over my kitchen and my towels were soaking wet from wiping off the dishes, so I was basically smearing everything all over the walls, counters, and microwave. I was very pissed and had to vent a little to Robert and I finally felt better about thirty minutes later.
I am normally an extremely lucky person but I can’t think of much good that has happened. I did get my new hard drive. That was a kick-ass buy. I got home and decided to finally get this hard drive thing sorted out. I have a SATA one and an IDE one and the IDE one doesn’t load sometimes, and it has all of my files on it while the SATA one just has Windows and Linux. That way, when I get a virus, instead of worrying about it, I just hit the format button and I’m good to go again. So I decided to purchase a second SATA hard drive. I bought a 250GB Western Digital SATA HD with a 16MB cache (thanks Dan! ) and I have all three hooked up right now and it runs smooth as a baby’s behind. I have backed up all of my stuff except my videos and things are wicked awesome. I think I will take the old IDE hard drive and put it in my green computer that is currently being used for a table and try to get that up and running again.
So as far as things going good, and things going bad, that is the total sum of it all. I do expect that things will improve shortly. I have a feeling something better will happen.
It is a good thing Anthony does not talk to me anymore. I probably would not hear the end of eating three hot pockets a day and two energy drinks. The chips I don’t know. These are just straange but great
As one may or may not notice, I decided to see how the website looked in a larger resolution. It was horrible!! So I spent all afternoon thinking about how I was going to tackle that. I was going about it horribly when Amber finally called and we went for a drive to Wal*Mart (which is another wonderful story!) on my way home, I finally thought of a way to get it work. But I had to head to work so I did not get to finish it until recently
Boy that was fun. I went there of course with no intention to buy anything. And I bought some cereal, some quick things for dinner, and some Strawberry Daiquiri. Well, being that I look twelve and I am well aware of this, I got carded. She let me have it. Then I spilled it in the parking lot. When we went back in to get another one, the second lady was a jerk about it. She goes “Who checked you out?” like they were gonna get in trouble. So we told her. “Well I want to see your i.d. There is no way you are 21.” and Amber was like “You don’t believe we’re 21?” and shes like “Oh no I don’t missy!” and we showed her and she was nice after that but sheesh! It’s not like I party all the time. I just want some wine and they give me such shit about it
Went to work. I had a much better day today than yesterday. Just whatever. Get a few days off next week finally! I plan to stay up all night and beat Mario 3 >.< me and my sister have been going at that for months! And sleep in until noon even if I am not sleepy!! I am excited. I am thrilled. I am tired. And I am stoked because I recently discovered that I can straighten my hair which I still need to do. Nainai
I just got off of work at Staples. I only worked for four hours, so that was great. I feel kind of drug down though, as I seem to often feel at night these days, usually due to being tired. It’s just I am unsure about this job. I don’t really like it other than there’s not much stress. I can’t tell if I am doing a good or bad job and I can’t tell if people think I am a complete idiot or not. I know I come off as really blond and super-needy, I really am at times, but I can be useful and I can’t tell if they think I am useless or not. But then why would they ask me to stay?
I went and visited my friends at my old job. I am going to miss them after this week only a whole ton. I got to talk to Alexey and Ruth. There wasn’t much new..just new drama stuff that is always going on. But I love talking to them and seem to have so much more in common! I just don’t know if I am doing the right thing. And then what if I don’t have enough hours? At least I didn’t have to worry about money at my old job. I hope I don’t regret this and it turns into a huge deal!
Other than tonight, this morning I woke up and went to make some breakfast. Boy I was craving cereal and hot cocoa! I was out of cereal so I made some chicken instead…and when I went to clean my Senseo machine, I decided to make coffee instead. So I thought it was funny how I ended up with somewhat unrelated items to munch on for breakfast. Rob said they were very much alike though because they all started with a C.
I went for a walk, turned a movie in at the library, got some coffee that I really should not have xD and went to work. It is funny because every day when I walk outside to go for my walk, I get to see that stupid orange cone sitting on my porch that someone left on my car. And now someone has left a couch on my porch!! An entire taped-up couch right in front of the other door! I don’t know if anyone is moving into the place across from me or not, but don’t leave your couch in the middle of the stairs for two weeks D: that is gross! I bet bugs are camping out in there and cats are peeing on it and everything! The odd things that happen here. Not to mention someone left a vacuum in the bushes below me D: I quit trying to make sense of this place.
I am worrying. These pills seem to have failed me once again. I think it’s retarded though to think that anxiety and mood problems can be fixed my popping pills into your mouth. So the doctor said they were the smallest dose. I don’t know what I want anymore. So I guess I will do as I do every night and wait for Rob and sleep my butt off
I turned in my two weeks at the gas station, so this will be my last weekend. I am enjoying Staples a lot more, but it is slowing down. I am bummed because the General Manager wont let me get my tongue pierced I don’t know what I will do about that! I guess it’s no biggy just a bummer. I think I will pierce it when I go on vacation again.
My anti-depressants seem to be working well so far. I haven’t gotten angry or tried hitting anyone in a week now. I am sleeping real well and I am able to calm down when I want to. It is nice. I did get mad at Tyler, but I did not raise my voice, I was just a bit annoyed because he was not working and he said he did not care. So I called my manager and he said to try to be nice to him, so I did, and he worked a lot harder on Sunday.
I rented some movies for my little brother and sister and I rented the movie Holes for myself. It is still too slow for me to sit in front of the tv for the entire film at once (I am not the kind of person who can sit still that long and watch a movie normally, unless it’s with Robert ), so I have to finish it tomorrow and take it back. I also got some film from the library about flight 93 I believe it was when 9/11 happened. So that will be interesting but it is more like a documentary.
School for the freshman starts next week. Amber said there were a lot more this year than last year, so I was worried. But apparently she misread it and there are only 10 more than last year. I am a little nervous of how much busier it will be and how many more people will be around, but I think I will be okay. I am improving in that area as well and I am opening up. School starts for me the week after on the 29th then it is probably 3 months of solitude because I will get too caught up in homework
I went to work today had a bad day! and came home and slept. Woke up and straightened my hair and it is super long I then went for a walk with Amber, went to Rice Time and got some potstickers, went to the grocery store, and came home and worked on the website. Clearly I have a new layout. I also took down the arrows and myspace glitter section. I just don’t like how they look I will redo them tomorrow. I added some stars and file folders kind of useless. It was mostly for my own needs hehe
I am a tiny bit sleepy so I will take off and wait for Robert to get online. Mwah~!
Not really, but the night before last, I slept on my ear with my new piercing all wrong. It would not stop bleeding and hurting, and finally today the bleeding stopped. But I was in the bathroom and noticed the spot where the piercing is was turning purple. I started freaking out but one of my co workers said to just put some hydrogen peroxide on it and it should be fine. He said it could be infected or just really upset. So I did that and thankfully it is all back to normal color, it is not bleeding, pussing, and it hardly hurts. Thank God!
I have totally redone the layout this time. I felt so inspired and it was fun. It is clearly incomplete yet and I still have to edit a lot of the css it’s just I have been working 14 hours a day again so I am pooped out I asked for a day off but still did not get one. So I guess I will have to tackle this project slowly.
School is starting soon and I am excited. I splurged a little and bought some new used clothes. Oh well I just got payed and I made $50 more than I calculated because we got commission this month Because of my bad day last week, I decided to turn in my two weeks at the gas station and stay working at Staples. I will miss everyone a lot, and the people who upset me quit, so that was a bummer. But I wont have to work in the rain..so I guess that is a plus.
This website needs some massive updating, revamping, and a new layout. But working two jobs! Each time I open photoshop.. I can’t seem to get the strength together to move my mouse. I am just too exhausted.
I think I will make a few more avatars and update some pages and that’s about all I will be able to do tonight. A new layout will have to come in a few more weeks.
Amber and I have been hanging out a lot. We were going to go to Beaverton the other day, and took 205 and ended up on the wrong side. So we ended up in Washington! I got stressed out and started cursing and stuff and we got back to Oregon, drove through Portland, got to Beaverton, and could not find Uwajimaya. Some weird black guy was hitting on us, so I decided that we were going home, and I was pissed. I said next time we plan to do this, we are taking thirty bucks, flushing it down the toilet or setting it on fire, and going for a walk because that will be more fun and accomplish the same thing
I am excited for school to start! Nine am classes are going to suck, but at least it’s not work and I wont have to deal with crappy customers. All I gotta do is go to class, take notes, remember stuff, and get good grades. So I am excited for a change. I am taking two computer science classes and two art classes. I am looking forward to the art classes a lot less, just because there are two of them and they are 3 hours long and I don’t feel like I can hold still that long working on the same thing. Next term I have to take a 3D class which is like pottery and stuff. I am absolutely going to hate that. But I think I will also be able to take my first lower level Graphic Design class so that will be killer. If not, then in the Spring for sure
There has been a lot of stuff going on, mostly drama. I had a bad day at work yesterday and I have a temper problem, so I went to the doctor. He is putting me on more anti depressants. I cried because I told him I am sick of pills and this and that. He says its not forever, I just have some developing to do and I can’t function like this. I keep attacking people. So I am quitting the gas station job because of the stress and a few other things. And I will try these anti depressants only because unlike the other two, these are also for people with mood disorders. The other two were for depression and anxiety, but this is less for depression and more for mood disorders, so it might work.
Also on the same day I had a bad day at work, as I was going home I was talking to Amber and trying to be optimistic. At least it can’t get any worse because I can go home and relax. Wrong!! I locked myself out of my house and my spare key was in my car and my spare car key was at my parents and my parents were not pleased with me because we got into an argument the day before. So I attempted to use a coat hanger and failed. Then I attempted to climb on the balcony and failed. So I drug Amber over to my parent’s house, got the spare car key, got the spare house key, and drank myself to sleep. I woke up without any hangover as usual
Right now I am thankful I live alone. I get lonely without a roomate, but Tara has been unable to get enough hours at work. Amber can’t tell what is going on because she stresses over it, but then says all she needs is a few more hours. Then Amber had to turn around and help her out. And she told her if she is going to be unable to pay the bills, let her know in a month. It’s like somewhat stressful digging up enough money for rent once a month, but at least I don’t have to depend on someone else’s income too. And I know if I miss a month, she wont kick me out. So it’s somewhat stressful, but it’s not like I am constantly wondering if the other person is going to do their share too.
I am counting down the days until I am done with Staples. I am going to miss my coworkers, but I am not going to miss the customers. You would think customers at retail would be more enjoyable than in the petrolium industry.
I had a lady call me up and ask me if she could find out how much ink would cost for her printer. So I asked her what kind she needed, and she said she had a Lexmark and needed colored and black ink. I asked her for the model and she said she did not know. I understand that you are trying and I give you the benefit of the doubt but I just don’t know. How am I supposed to figure out how much your ink is if you can’t tell me what particular printer you have? There’s a reason there’s multiple models. I just don’t know. I am sure I have done similar stupid things, but it’s like, after eight hours of that over and over and over, it gets a little insane. I don’t get paid enough to feel like it’s worth putting up with this!
I miss Robert a lot. I am glad I turned in my two weeks because working from 8 - 4 and then switching from 2 - 10 is killing me. I am exhausted, and people go “well just don’t sleep!” easier said than done. So I am drinking a Red Bull and hoping for the best.
Other than that, I crammed a new hole in my ear. That’s right. I did it. I figure it’s just the ear, I have done 50% of my peircings myself and they turned out okay, so why pay $50 when I can do it myself? I plan to get my tongue pierced somewhere around the 12th though. That one I am going in for. Last time I had it done I told her how scared I was because it’s a giant muscle. She said that the tongue is actually made up of two muscles and she is piercing inbetween. I told her I was happy that one of us knew what they were doing! I have decided to not tackle that one myself afterwards! Plus it’s a 14g rather than 16. If they are too small, it can cause numbness. I don’t know how happy my mom will be after that. But I’ll just take it out when I hang out with her if she really can’t stand looking at it.
Also I was browsing my friend Kassie’s myspace and found the cutest clips. Turns out she made a ton of them and is selling them on her online store so I asked Rob to buy me some It is www.HesaidShesaid.etsy.com. I personally think they are very fucking adorable. And I will tell everyone about them
Still anxious for school to start. No more work. Hang out with my friends. Homework for 12 hours a day again Ah good old times. And to think I am wasting the best years of my life away in books and solitude.
to Peachers. This is 
I still have not posted up anything new because I have not booted up my laptop once today. I will probably do that soon since I am procrastinating on homework!
Filed Under
I can’t afford the rent here anymore, even though it is only $300. Driving to Keizer all the time for work is killing me on gas! I don’t want to move. I love my little apartment. I love the littleness. I am really not American because I really want a one bedroom itty bitty yellow house and three cats and a bunny and a pig and a goat. Anyway! My uncle is going to let me stay in his empty house until 2010 when Melissa might go to school here. I hope the house will be just as cute xP
I am counting down the days until I am done with Staples. I am going to miss my coworkers, but I am not going to miss the customers. You would think customers at retail would be more enjoyable than in the petrolium industry.
